Am I guilty of quiet white racism?
Am I guilty of systemic white racism? I don’t think so. But from the number of writings that suggest all white people are to some degree complicit in America’s racism, I want to see if I am, in some way, part of the racism that just won’t go away.
First of all, I may look white but I don’t feel white. I’m a Kenyan-born Irishman, grew up like an army brat in Italy, England, Ireland, then moved in adult life to Switzerland, and then to the US aged 30. I speak multiple languages and have traveled to 50+ countries. I love the planet we live on, and I cherish differences, while also appreciating the advantages of globalism, global trade, and the easy movement of people across borders that we evolved only since the 1970’s, and which seems to be in danger of extinction. I have nothing to say to an uneducated white person who believes white people are fundamentally better or smarter than people of color.
Now let’s find my guilt. If indeed it exists. First of all, even though I have no money and have to work hard to keep food and shelter going, I am most definitely privileged compared to someone who grew up in poverty. I’ve seen wonder and beauty that I would not have seen from a poor neighborhood and without the travel experiences my parents gave me.
Do I have white privilege? By its definition, yes. I sure don’t feel like a silver spoon baby just because I can be pulled over by police and not end up being pinned to the ground, brutalized and humiliated. I see that as a flagrant violation of human rights, not as a privilege that I hold. It’s not a privilege if we all have it, or if we all should have it.
I have only a few black friends. Most of them are middle class, and most of them live lives similar to mine. I have a few black friends who indeed hail from the tough streets and whom I have become friends with over the years. We’re friends because they left their old lives, not because I left mine. Other than some volunteering work in a homeless shelter, I don’t spend time in black neighborhoods, and there simply aren’t that many black people in my day, at work, sports, neighbors, community activities. There are tons of people from India, China, Mexico, Guatemala, Russia, Turkey, Iran etc — it’s a pretty diverse area. I’m not someone who would make a point to avoid making friends with someone based on skin color. Yet here we are — I haven’t made friends with many black people.
Am I out of touch? I don’t know much about day to day life for George Floyd or his friends and family. I don’t know what it feels like to walk down the street and be harassed by police when I’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t know the feeling of realizing that my chances of creating a peaceful, prosperous and happy life have been sabotaged by a systemic attack on black people so that I absolutely would not enjoy the same access to opportunity as ‘white me’. This is true, but does this make me guilty of something that I need to work on?
I can’t fix world hunger. And in the same way, I feel I can’t work on something that’s outside of my control. In Al-Anon meetings people tell each other the 3 C’s: I didn’t cause it, I don’t control it, I can’t cure it. Is that a copout? Should I be working to rewire who I am? Tear down the assumptions that form pillars in my consciousness, and begin to relearn how to be a member of society? I always thought of myself as inclusive, egalitarian, embracing diversity, and opposed to racial and religious prejudice. Maybe it was all false assumptions.
OK, so what exactly am I guilty of? I haven’t actively denied employment or housing or access to finances to anyone. I haven’t published hate content. I have never attended any kind of white supremacist gathering, or signed up for their literature. It seems I’m guilty of failing to fix the actions of some white people. Given that I don’t feel white, nor do I feel any allegiance or loyalty to white people, I’m not sure I understand how I’m supposed to go out and fix this. By not doing something, am I committing a crime of omission?
I’m not looking for more guilt. I’m Irish, I already have guilt. I’m interested in hearing how I am responsible for some part of this problem in America, and how I would work on changing my actions to reduce that.
